Psychological Flexibility: An Overlooked Superpower

What Is Psychological Flexibility?

What works in therapy and what doesn’t?

This title in a recent edition of Psychology Today caught my attention. Steven C. Hayes, PhD, a founder of ACT (Acceptance and Commitment Therapy), distinguishes between the question of which therapy brand we are using and what he sees as the more important question:

“Are you engaging the processes of change that matter most for this individual in their particular situation?”

As a long-time therapist and a guide in the process of transformation, something relaxes in me when I take in that question with genuine curiosity. There is efficiency to this question, and I like it. It wakes up the antennae of sensitivity and attunement inside my body. And I want to know more.

Less from my mind and more from my intuitive heart, I want to understand the person in front of me as though they are their own unique ecosystem (which they are): How does this particular ecosystem thrive?

Like the ecosystems of Nature, what are the ingredients that would allow this person’s neurobiology to become coherent and actualize their values-led goals? In other words, what would allow my client to take meaningful, tangible steps in the direction of what matters most to them?

Well, as it turns out, psychological flexibility may be one of our greatest superpowers for creating positive change. It is a key ingredient in a thriving human ecosystem.

And so it goes that a process that facilitates positive change is a process that is working. We all want what works! I feel successful working with people when I can engage them in mechanisms that contribute directly to their well-being and growth.

Hayes describes a massive review of more than 54,000 studies examining why therapy works. Psychological flexibility emerged as the most commonly effective pathway of change—more impactful than factors such as self-esteem, social support, or even the frequency of negative thoughts.

Wow.

So what exactly is psychological flexibility? And how do we cultivate it and personalize it to our unique ecosystems?

Why Change Processes Matter

Hayes describes change processes as being less about symptoms and more about how we relate to our internal experiences and navigate our lives. They include capacities like acceptance, present-moment awareness, observing our thoughts, taking committed action toward our values, caring for our bodies, and building healthy social connections.

In other words, the goal is not about trying to get rid of difficulty. It is to create a more flexible relationship to the thoughts, feelings, and experiences that challenge us. This psychological flexibility puts us back in the driver’s seat of our own lives and allows us to co-create meaningfully.

Hayes distills decades of research and thousands of studies into a beautifully simple invitation: to become more “open, aware and actively engaged in a meaningful way,” and to extend those capacities into our relationships and our bodies. This sounds like a thriving human ecosystem to me.

And this is where the research lights me up. These are not abstract ideas. They are accessible capacities we can cultivate.

So let’s break them down together.

Three Pillars of Psychological Flexibility

For our purposes, we can organize psychological flexibility into three interwoven capacities: Awareness, Openness, and Active Engagement.

Awareness: The Wisdom of the Open Sky

Awareness can be summarized as being present to the moment: noticing what’s happening internally and externally and being able to do so without getting caught up in our subjective interpretation, but rather taking on the wisdom of the observer.

Awareness, to me, feels like the wisdom of the open sky: I can notice what is happening.

Openness: The Wisdom of the River

Openness can be summarized as allowing our feelings and thoughts to move through us without needing to resist, suppress, or control them.

Openness feels to me like the wisdom of the river: I can allow experience to move rather than needing to control it.

Active Engagement: The Wisdom of the Mountain Goat

Active engagement can be summarized as knowing what our values are and aligning our actions with those values, regardless of our emotional pain or negative thinking.

Active engagement reminds me of the mountain goat, making its way to the top of the mountain in spite of all the twists, turns, and discomforts: I can keep moving toward what matters, adapting my route as conditions change.

What Nature Can Teach Us About Psychological Flexibility

I love using metaphors from Nature because I see her as our best living example of how to thrive here on Earth.

Let’s take a moment to reflect and ponder together. What examples and processes from Nature herself can you receive inspiration from and then apply to your own life?

Take a moment to reflect on what brings you into a state of present-moment Awareness. Is it the open sky? The awe of a morning sunrise or the reverence of an evening sunset that captures all of your attention and brings you into the Now? The peace of a lake or pond that captivates and stills your mind? What about the Moon in her ever-changing form, evoking curiosity and playfulness of Spirit?

Now, what inspires Openness for you? Is it that river in her surrender and flow? What about the ebb and flow of the ocean, its waves and tides? Notice how a tree simply lets go of her leaves without second-guessing the timing of letting go. The vulnerability of a tree without her leaves in the winter can be a beautiful example of the implicit trust within Nature that knows Spring is on her way.

And how can Earth’s creatures show us what it means to practice Active Engagement? Think again of the mountain goat that adapts and perseveres to reach its destination. Wild animals giving birth. The migration patterns of birds and whales. Regardless of discomfort, there is a complete engagement with a process of change implicit in each of these examples.

What Does Psychological Flexibility Look Like in Everyday Life?

Here is an example that may be relatable for many of us:

Someone can know intellectually, “I don’t need to be afraid of conflict,” and still organize their behavior around avoiding conflict.

Psychological flexibility isn’t necessarily about getting rid of the fear.

It’s being able to notice the fear (Awareness), make room for the fear (Openness), and choose behavior based on what matters—connection, authenticity, truth—rather than what the fear is telling you to avoid (Active Engagement).

A Personal Example of Psychological Flexibility

Another example comes from my own life.

About a year ago, I got the soul calling to move to Costa Rica for a year with my son as an immersive learning experience and adventure for both of us.

In addition to being known for its epic Nature, Costa Rica represents, in a multitude of ways, core values of mine: beauty, balance, growth, truth, dignity, and compassion.

There were detours and setbacks, initiations and challenges. There was even a period when I completely put the idea aside.

And yet, it was my core values that brought me full circle back to my Costa Rica dream and allowed me to align my behavior accordingly.

I was clear about my goal and the dream I wanted to actualize. From that place, I was able to utilize awareness, openness, and active engagement to bring me to the finish line of recently arriving in this beautiful land and culture.

And then, of course, the finish line became the starting line in another kind of way.

Looking back, I can see how practicing psychological flexibility helped get me here: staying present with myself and noticing my experience along the way, allowing all of my different feelings and thoughts to move through me without letting them undermine what matters most to me, and continuing to take the steps necessary to bring my dream into fruition.

I made a dream come true.

And now I get to apply all of that good learning to the art of being here in a new culture for the next year. No small task.

Psychological flexibility will be required, and I am grateful for Nature’s endless inspiration as I integrate her wisdom into my body and set my sights on new horizons.

Psychological Flexibility as a Roadmap for Change

As a person, and as a clinician guiding transformation, I’m inspired, encouraged, and also frankly relieved by the evidence-based research on psychological flexibility.

I’m grateful that positive change is possible and that we can break this capacity down into something so clear and usable. At its core, psychological flexibility is not complicated—it is a lived practice made up of three interwoven skills:

• Awareness: noticing what is happening in the present moment, internally and externally, without immediately getting entangled in it
• Openness: allowing thoughts, emotions, and sensations to be here without resistance, suppression, or avoidance
• Active Engagement: choosing actions aligned with what matters most, even in the presence of discomfort

When these three capacities work together, something powerful happens: we stop being driven solely by avoidance or reactivity, and we begin to live from a place of conscious choice. We become more able to meet life as it is, while still moving toward what we value.

And this is where the practice becomes real.

Because psychological flexibility is not something we “achieve” once and for all—it is something we return to, again and again, in small everyday moments.

So I want to leave you with a simple invitation:

• What am I noticing right now? (Awareness)
• Can I make space for this experience as it is? (Openness)
• What is one small step I can take toward what matters most? (Active Engagement)

You don’t need to feel better first. You don’t need to think differently first. You don’t need to wait for fear, doubt, or discomfort to disappear.

You can begin exactly where you are.

This is the quiet power of psychological flexibility: not the absence of difficulty, but the presence of choice. A way of living that keeps you connected—to yourself, to your values, and to the life you are actively creating.

And like all living systems, it strengthens through practice.

So perhaps the real question is not “Do I have psychological flexibility?” but rather:

“In this moment, am I willing to practice it?”

Source

Steven C. Hayes, PhD, “What Actually Works in Therapy (And What Doesn’t),” Psychology Today, March/April 2026, p. 23.